And I’m working on my second YA book, again with the ghosts.  And I’ve got an adult book that I long to get back to, and a third YA book that’s cooking on the back burner of my brain.

Meanwhile, I haven’t figured out a name for myself.   Right now, on twitter you can find me as @yvonneharren.  So I reserved that domain name and plonked this WordPress site here.

But I don’t post here very often (she said obviously).

So.  Until I sell a book and figure all this out, you can occasionally find me here: http://www.storyofwhy.blogspot.com/

Or at my critique group’s blog, here: http://www.rockville8.blogspot.com/

Love you!

Yes, you!

Yvonne

Don’t you even think it!

Would you be the jester or the shaman, the explorer or the teacher?

Whatever you would be, that’s what you are. Writing is only how you’re doing it.

Off the cuff, I think I’m at least part jester, and maybe part explorer.  I’m definitely not a teacher.  And it’s hard to think of myself in terms of a shaman.

What is it I’m trying to do with my writing?  Get a reaction.  Right?  That’s the jester part. 

Hmmmmm . . . maybe I’m ALL jester!

Shutup Marjanna!

I used to have a growth mindset. Now I worry that I have a fixed mindset. When life went bellyup on me (15 yrs ago?!) I think I switched from growth to fixed. I need to switch back!!! But how?

I remember that I used to take more chances — particularly with my writing. I wrote short stories and sent them out. I threw myself into a medieval romance novel and sent it to the GH. Even though I don’t have a historical bone in my body. Even though I had less time back then, because my kids were little.

But after life went all Death Star on me, I went into protective mode. Braced for disaster. It might have been necessary at first — but I’m STILL there. The layoffs at the office haven’t helped. Part of me still feels braced for disaster. But it’s not TRULY necessary. If I lose my job, it won’t impact my kids. They’re launched. They’re fine. And I would be too. I know that intellectually, but my limbic system doesn’t seem to believe it.

I fear change and risk and I know that I find myself enjoying repetitive success — just because it’s a reliable success.

The one step I’ve made toward reversing this is that I’ve banned myself from entering anymore contests. Every time I see notice of a contest, I get tempted. Because it’s just enough of a risk, that it feels like I’m in a growth mindset. Yet, it gets me no closer to the BIG risk, the ultimate goal. And if I do fail, it’s no big.

It’s a safe step that I’ve taken over and over with several (four now?) manuscripts since the Death Star.

I knew entering contests was getting in my way — but until I read this article, I didn’t fully understand how.

I’m still not sure that I do.

But it feels like my eyes are somehow more open.  Maybe that’s a start.